David Bruce: Anecdotes About Alcohol

As a 13-year-old boy, Colin Powell attended a Catholic summer camp near Peekskill, New York. He and some other boys smuggled beer into the camp and hid it, but the beer was quickly discovered. At the camp meeting hall, the priest in charge talked to the campers, told them about the beer, and asked, “Who will own up like a man?” Colin was sure that no one had seen him and the other boys smuggle the beer into the camp, but he thought about the priest’s words and confessed. As a result of Colin’s example, two other guilty boys confessed as well. For their punishment, Colin and the other boys were sent home, but a priest called Colin’s parents and told them that Colin had owned up like a man and been a good example to the other guilty parties.

In 1910, when Mother Jones was 80 years old, she organized the female bottle washers in the breweries of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In return for scrubbing beer bottles for several hours, these women earned less than a dollar a day. When Mother Jones spoke to the owner of Milwaukee’s Blatz Brewery about improving the lives of the bottle washers, he dismissed her and did nothing. Therefore, Mother Jones went to Cincinnati, Ohio, where she talked 500,000 United Mine Workers into boycotting Milwaukee beer. Quickly, the brewery owners caved in — the bottle washers got paid more and their working conditions improved.

Today, professional golfers sometimes have golf psychologists to help them relax when they need to relax. The older players also had them, but they were of a different kind. Peter Jacobsen once interviewed Jackie Burke, who told him, “Yeah, Jimmy Demaret and I had a golf psychologist. His name was Jack Daniel’s. And we’d visit him in the bar after almost every round.” Jack must have been a good golf psychologist because as Mr. Jacobsen points out, both Mr. Burke and Mr. Demaret were inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame.”

For a while, basketball player Chris Mullen of the Golden State Warriors had a drinking problem. In 1988, he missed some games to go into an alcohol rehabilitation program, and he worried about what the fans would do when he returned to playing. He shouldn’t have worried. The fans gave him a standing ovation when he returned, and he responded with 10 points, six assists, four rebounds, and four steals in 23 minutes to lead the Warriors to a 102-100 home victory over the Utah Jazz.

The 19-century actor George Frederick Cooke sometimes appeared onstage, drunk. In Richard III, he played the Duke of Gloucester, and at one point he staggered across the stage with his sword raised above his head. A member of the audience disliked the performance and shouted, “That’s not like the Duke of Gloucester!” Mr. Cooke stopped, faced the audience member, and shouted, “That’s not like a British auditor!” The act ended with applause (and a few hisses) for Mr. Cooke.

While Bo Jackson attended Auburn University, he played both baseball and football. During a baseball game at the University of Alabama, a beer truck was parked just beyond the fence around the outfield. Several people, including the driver, were standing by the truck, drinking beer and yelling insults at Mr. Jackson throughout the early innings of the game. Mr. Jackson stopped the insults by hitting a home run that bounced off the side of the truck.

A glass of beer made a huge difference in Lech Walesa’s life. In 1967, Mr. Walesa thought that he had time to get off a train in Gdansk and drink a glass of beer, but he was mistaken — the train pulled out of the station without him. Therefore, Mr. Walesa found work in Gdansk. His efforts with the Polish worker union Solidarity there led to his receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1983.

During Prohibition, many law enforcement officers were corrupt. One speakeasy in New York City was made with two entrances. After making a raid for the benefit of public relations, the federal agents would lock one door but not the other, with the result that as soon as the federal agents had left, the speakeasy was once again open for business.

American colonists became very angry when a tax on tea bought by Americans was passed by the British Parliament. The politician who proposed the new, unpopular tax was Member of Parliament Charles Townsend, who was also known as Champagne Charlie because he occasionally made speeches in Parliament when he was drunk.

When Jackie Bouvier married John F. Kennedy, she was supposed to be given away by her father, Jack Bouvier, but when she learned that he had been drinking, she declined to let him even come to the wedding. Stepping in at the last moment to give away the bride was Jackie’s stepfather, Hugh D. Auchincloss.

During the Gold Rush, drunken prospector James Finney, whom everyone called Old Virginny, staggered along a street in a town in Nevada one night and dropped a bottle of whiskey, smashing it. He then shouted, “I christen this ground Virginia.” Quickly, the town became known as Virginia City.

Being an oceanographer can have advantages. Jacques Cousteau once discovered a third-century B.C.E. Greek ship that had sunk while carrying a cargo of wine to Marseilles. Excavating the ship took five years, and at one point Mr. Cousteau was able to taste some 2,200-year-old wine.

At Babe Ruth’s funeral, the pallbearers included Yankee third baseman Joe Dugan and Yankee pitcher Waite Hoyt. The day was extremely hot, and Mr. Dugan told Mr. Hoyt, “I’d give $100 for an ice-cold beer.” Mr. Hoyt replied, “So would the Babe.”

Frank Sullivan once wrote this congratulatory telegram when his friend Joe Bryan, III, had a birthday: “I raise my glass and drink to you, and then dash it into the fireplace. It is made of plastic. I can retrieve it later.”

Stand-up comedian Geri Jewell has cerebral palsy, which causes her to walk awkwardly. In her stand-up routine, she says, “I don’t understand why people will go out of their way to drink, so they can walk like me.”

© 2016 by David Bruce, All Rights Reserved

David Bruce has written lots of collections of anecdotes, plus other books. Take a look at the list here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/david-bruce-books/

Most of the anecdotes are funny; some are thought provoking.

Download Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

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https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/

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David Bruce: Anecdotes About People with Handicaps

In 1897, José Clemente Orozco was a 14-year-old boy living in Mexico City. Like other boys his age, he was curious about fireworks and gunpowder, and when he was alone one day, he experimented. Suddenly, the gunpowder exploded, blowing three fingers off his left hand and also badly injuring his right hand. Young Clemente ended up having his left hand amputated, and he nearly lost his right hand as well. In addition, his sight and hearing were damaged. For the rest of his life, he was forced to wear thick glasses, and he never regained hearing in his left ear. Nevertheless, he became one of Mexico’s foremost painters, gaining special renown for his murals. In 1947, he won Mexico’s National Prize in the Arts and Sciences, and when he died in 1949, he was given the honor of burial in the Rotunda de los Hombres Illustres (Rotunda of the Illustrious Men).

David Frost’s father was a fine preacher, in part because of an accident that happened to David Frost’s grandmother. Mr. Frost’s grandmother was riding in a carriage which turned over, so she threw herself across her baby to protect it. The baby was fine, but because of the accident, she became deaf. Therefore, as the baby — Mr. Frost’s father — was growing up, he enunciated everything very clearly so his mother (Mr. Frost’s grandmother) could read his lips. This enunciation practice paid off when he became a preacher. Mr. Frost says, “My father up in the pulpit is now the greatest preacher I’ve ever heard. He pronounces and enunciates so properly. Why? Because of a disability of his mother. God took that and used it so my father would be a better preacher.”

As a comedian with cerebral palsy, which affects her control of her muscles, Geri Jewell has been in some interesting situations. When she showed up to take her driving test, the examiner refused to allow her to take it on the grounds that she was drunk! And when she went on a field trip to a psychiatric hospital with her college psychology class, one of the attendants thought she belonged there. When she tried to leave with the rest of the class, the attendant told her, “Come on now, honey. You can’t go with those people. This is your home here.” Ms. Jewell had to yell for help so her professor could tell the attendant that she was a student — the attendant was shocked and muttered, “I guess they’re letting everybody into college nowadays.”

Al Capp, the creator of the comic strip Li’l Abner, was born in 1909 and lost his left leg in a trolley car accident when he was nine years old. At this time, replacements for lost legs were made of wood — since then, they have much improved. As an adult, Mr. Capp was able to joke about the loss of his leg. He told people with two legs that he was only half as likely as they to catch athlete’s foot. He also pointed out that he saved money buying socks. He used to buy six pairs of socks at one time, nail one sock to his wooden leg, and take turns wearing the other 11 socks on his one remaining foot. And, of course, he was able to make millions of comic strip readers laugh with his Li’l Abner.

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt could not walk on his own, and great care was taken to hide that fact from the public. He declined to appear in public with crutches or in a wheelchair. To appear to walk on his own, he would walk while tightly holding the arm of a supporting son or friend. In addition, he would enter buildings by routes where he could not be seen. For example, once he was carried up a fire escape. On another occasion, the fire escape was too narrow for someone to carry him, so he dragged himself up the fire escape with his arms.

Congressman Morris K. Udall had a glass eye, the result of an accident and a botched operation when he was a child. In college, he played center in basketball and during one game, he played extremely well, scoring 24 points. When he came out of the game, a sportswriter who came from the town of the opposing team told him, “Udall, you are a liar. No one shoots like that with a glass eye.” Mr. Udall took his glass eye out of its socket and handed it to the sportswriter, saying, “Mister, I haven’t been able to see much out of this one — you try it.”

Blues singer Sonny Terry became blind as a result of two accidents when he was a child. At age 11, he beat a stick against a chair, and a piece of wood broke off, flew up, and put out one of his eyes. At age 16, another boy threw a piece of metal at him and put out the other eye.

When two deaf people are arguing and one person gets tired of the argument, all she has to do to end the argument is to close her eyes. It is up to the other person to figure out how to get her to open her eyes so the argument can continue.

Rabbi Yose saw a blind man carrying a lit torch at night. When he asked him why he was carrying the torch, the blind man answered, “So long as this torch is in my hand, people see me and save me from the pits and the thorns and the thistles.”

A blind woman needed to attend a meeting, and a friend offered to drive her there. The blind woman gratefully accepted the offer, then joked, “Remember, if you arrive and all the lights are out, that doesn’t mean I’ve already left.”

Comedian Adam Keefe used to do a routine on silent movies that relied on sight gags for laughs. One manager of a club where Mr. Keefe did the routine told him, “I don’t think you’re funny.” The manager was blind.

On a golf course, someone asked Sammy Davis, Jr. about his handicap. He replied, “I’m a colored one-eyed Jew — do I need anything else?”

© 2016, David Bruce, All Rights Reserved

David Bruce has written lots of collections of anecdotes, plus other books. Take a look at the list here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/david-bruce-books/

Most of the anecdotes are funny; some are thought provoking.

Download Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

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Check out the rest of 

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David Bruce: Anecdotes About People with Handicaps

Geri Jewell is a hearing-impaired comedian (her major handicap is cerebral palsy), which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. For example, once some fans called her name and followed her down a street, and they thought she was ignoring them. Instead, she simply wasn’t wearing her hearing aids that day — she wears them only about 60 percent of the time, and quite often, when there is background noise, they don’t help. In addition, she and another hearing-impaired comedian, Kathy Buckley, sometimes have “deaf lunch.” They make a lunch date, but one of them mishears the other, and so they end up eating alone in different restaurants, with each of them wondering where the other one is.

Doctors can’t explain why Carol Johnston was born with only one arm, but she didn’t let it stop her from becoming an All-American gymnast. Called “Lefty,” Ms. Johnston won silver medals on balance beam and floor exercise at the 1978 United States national gymnastics championships in Seattle, Washington. (She was almost late for her performance on the beam, because she was eating chocolate ice cream.) Ms. Johnston said, “I’m not supposed to be a gymnast physically, but no one told me that mentally. No one said I couldn’t be creative with one arm.” So she became creative with one arm — creative enough to become a famous gymnast.

When he was young, Clement Freud, who was later a Member of Parliament, went to a cocktail party, where he went up to a young couple and asked if he could get them some drinks. The young woman made a few movements with her hands, then said, “No, thank you.” So Mr. Freud asked if he could get them some canapés. Once again, the woman made a few movements with her hands, then said, “No, thank you very much.” Mr. Freud then asked if she had ever tried this, and he beat out a pat-a-cake rhythm on the table, then stuck his fingers in his ears. The woman replied, “Actually, my husband is deaf and I was explaining your questions to him.”

Al Capp, creator of the comic strip Li’l Abner, had a wooden leg, which occasionally created embarrassing situations for him. Once, at the Savoy Hotel in London, he lay in bed as a waiter took his breakfast order. Because Mr. Capp was well covered with bedding, the waiter could not tell that he had only one leg, but the waiter did notice the foot of Mr. Capp’s wooden leg, clothed in a shoe and a stocking, sticking out from under the bed. In fact, the waiter stared at it. Becoming aware that Mr. Capp was watching him stare at the leg, the waiter recovered his composure, finished taking Mr. Capp’s order, then said, “Very good, sir. And what will the other gentleman have?”

Early in her career, Carol Burnett volunteered to work with handicapped children at New York University’s Medical Center. Every week for the next four years — until she left for Hollywood — she volunteered there. The first time she volunteered, she found it difficult because many of the children were terribly deformed. A boy with no arms or legs recognized her and asked, “Hey, are you that nut on TV?” Ms. Burnett replied, “Sure, I’m that nut. But do you mind calling me Carol?”

Kitty O’Neil, a stunt woman on TV’s Wonder Woman series, broke the land speed record for women on December 6, 1976, in the Alvord Desert in Oregon. She drove a rocket car named the Motivator, breaking the old record of 308 miles an hour by over 200 miles per hour — her new record was almost 513 miles an hour. After she finished her historic drive, she climbed out of the Motivator to the cheers of the crowd. However, Ms. O’Neil didn’t hear the cheers — she is deaf.

Helen Keller was born both deaf and blind, and it was years before she learned to speak. Nevertheless, she was always very curious intellectually. While visiting the dance school of choreographer Martha Graham, Ms. Keller asked what jumping was. Ms. Graham had Ms. Keller place her hands on the hips of dancer Merce Cunningham, and he jumped several times. Her face radiant with joy, Ms. Keller said, “How like thought. How like the mind it is.”

Belly dancer Mésmera once performed for musician Stevie Wonder. She made music for him by clicking her tiny zill cymbals, which he enjoyed, but because Mr. Wonder is blind, he was missing the dance. Therefore, she put his hands on her hips so he could feel the movements of the dance. Of course, she didn’t put his hands anywhere else, and because Mr. Wonder is a gentleman, he didn’t try to put his hands anywhere else.

At the 1992 Olympic Games held in Barcelona, Spain, Jackie Joyner-Kersee won a gold medal in the heptathlon. However, after she clinched heptathlon gold in the 800-meter race, she was forced to delay her victory lap because an asthma attack made it difficult for her to breathe. Fans chanted her name, and finally she was able to take her victory lap and shake hands with some of her fans.

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Meyer Berger was known for his good deeds. Once, he wrote an article about a school for blind children. Shortly afterward, a truckload of toys arrived for the children. The director of the school was sworn to secrecy regarding the identity of the gift-giver, but after Mr. Berger interviewed people in need, financial aid always seemed to fall in their path.

Wingy Manone played jazz trumpet despite losing his right arm. After the house of his friend Bing Crosby burned down, Mr. Manone helped him sort through the wreckage. They came across a clothes closet in which several sports coats were hanging, all of them with the right arm burned off. Mr. Manone looked at the sports coats, then said, “Hey, man, these are for me!”

The Chazon Ish was once walking with another man when he suddenly slowed down, then told the other man, “There is a man with a limp walking in front of us. We ought not to pass him and remind him of his handicap.”

© 2016, David Bruce, All Rights Reserved

David Bruce has written lots of collections of anecdotes, plus other books. Take a look at the list here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/david-bruce-books/

Most of the anecdotes are funny; some are thought provoking.

Download Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/smoothie2003

Check out the rest of 

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/

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Dr. Michael Gregor: How Not To Die (YouTube)

Dr. Michael Gregor: How Not To Die (YouTube)

The Role of Diet in Preventing, Arresting, and Reversing Our Top 15 Killers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXXXygDRyBU#t=4924

David Bruce has written lots of collections of anecdotes, plus other books. Take a look at the list here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/david-bruce-books/

Most of the anecdotes are funny; some are thought provoking.

Download Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/smoothie2003

Check out the rest of 

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/

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Making a Pink Sateen Ball Gown, 1860’s Inspired, Part Four — Angela Clayton’s Costumery & Creations

Here it is, the final post about my lacy 19th century confection! If you haven’t already, definitely check out the first few posts about this project. They can be found here, here, and here. They will make this post a lot easier to follow! … The final thing I had to make for my dress […]

via Making a Pink Sateen Ball Gown, 1860’s Inspired, Part Four — Angela Clayton’s Costumery & Creations

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Brenda Kennedy: Forgetting the Past

TEASER

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Kate Earl – Only in dreams

Kate Earl – Only in dreams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-5Xe4aME48

Download Free eBooks, including The Kindest People series of collections of accounts of good deeds, by David Bruce here:

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