Too Much Viagra

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Source: Too Much Viagra

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Political Suture, uh, Satire: Make Fascism Great Again!

MPTRUMO

Source: Chaynkill, “Carnival float in Düsseldorf, Germany.” Imgur. 8 February 2016

http://imgur.com/gallery/eUcTHkp

“Definition of Satire: A Literary or Artistic Suture Possibly Leading to Good Political and/or Personal Health” — David Bruce

Free PDF book: Honey Badger Goes to Hell — and Heaven by David Bruce

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/2014/09/29/free-book-honey-badger-goes-to-hell-and-heaven-for-mature-readers/

Free PDF book: William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: A Retelling in Prose by David Bruce

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/free-pdf-williams-shakespeares-measure-for-measure-a-retelling-in-prose-by-david-bruce/

Romance Books by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

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David Bruce: EXTREME OLD AGE

EXTREME OLD AGE

My head hurts!

My head hurts!

My head hurts!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

My hands hurt!

My hands hurt!

My hands hurt!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

My butt hurts!

My butt hurts!

My butt hurts!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

My knees hurt!

My knees hurt!

My knees hurt!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

My feet hurt!

My feet hurt!

My feet hurt!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

What hurts now?

What hurts now?

What hurts now?

Everything!

Copyright 2016 by David Bruce

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What Random Act of Kindness Made You (Almost) Cry in Public?

Here are some answers:

1) molly9945 wrote, “Today I was at the gym and upped my weights for my bench press. Well, I was on my last rep of my last set and was NOT gonna make it so I was struggling to get one end at a time on the rack while lying there when a guy came up behind me and lifted the bar off me. He then made sure I was ok and gave me a couple tips! I almost cried from his kindness (and a little embarrassment) and was relieved he just wasn’t a passive aggressive [*]ssh[*]le like one of the guys at my gym has been. Anyways, I said thanks and sat to recover my muscles and also to concentrate on not crying!”

2) itwasthewrongway wrote, “My fiancé and I went to Taco Bell one night when he was homeless, and we had like less than $5 to make a whole meal for both of us and we also had no idea when we’d get money again. We gave the guy at the window the money for our order and my fiancé cracked a joke about how it was our last $5 until payday (which was, like, a week away), and the dude was like, ‘Really? Hmm,’ then looked around behind him and continued with ‘What do you like to drink? And do you like [this menu item], we got some extras back there.’ We told him we love Big Red and we’ll literally eat anything, and he hooked us the f[**]k up. I think we did cry a little. We hadn’t eaten in days.”

RandallRanderson commented, “I’d love to show this story to misogynist [*]ssh[*]les who think women are only with guys for their money. It’s touching, and wonderful.”

3) seriously_stopit wrote, “Not really random, but when I was a teenager, I had a sh[*]tty family life and I didn’t really care about school and my behavior was bad. Teachers didn’t like me, I didn’t like them… I was a huge Beatles fan and one morning the only teacher whom I really liked started telling our class a story about how he once met George Harrison in NYC and George gave him a Let it Be pin because my teacher complimented him on it. He walked up to me in front of everyone, said he didn’t have any kids or family he could give it to and since he knew just how big of a fan I am, he wanted me to have it. That’s seriously the kindest thing someone had ever done for me. I cried hard.”

4) cicadaselectric wrote, “When I worked at Disney, I ended up working nearly every holiday. Christmas is one of their busiest days, and god was I busy. People get mean, they get pushy, they’re aggravated — and I don’t blame them, they’re here on vacation and surrounded by like 80k other people, which is not what they signed up for. But it means I get yelled at and ordered about All. Christmas. Long.

“But on that Christmas evening, out of the literally thousands of people I interacted with, one person — one single, solitary person — thanked me for working on Christmas so they could enjoy theirs. I very nearly cried on the middle of Main Street.”

5) downtownflipped wrote, “A few weeks ago I was at a hockey game and got really drunk. I was yelling and being an extreme fan. I ended up knocking over the guy-I-liked’s food onto his lap and coat. Ketchup, chicken fingers, fries, the whole nine yards. I was so drunk and upset that I ran away from my two friends and took a train home alone… the wrong train actually. I woke up still drunk on the train only to realize I had missed my stop. I started bawling my eyes out quietly as to not attract attention. A bunch of people asked if I was okay, so I told them I would be fine. When I got to the end of the line, I huddled inside one of those glass buildings that keep the wind out. I was on my dying phone trying to reach people when this old guy hovered by me and asked me if I needed help. I don’t like taking help from strangers, so I told him no. He kept coming back and finally said, ‘Listen, I’m waiting for my wife who is on the next train; when she gets here we will get you some help.’

“They ended up picking my drunk [*]ss up off the ground, walking me over to a cab while consoling me, and paying $60 cash to have a cab driver drive me back to my car. I cried all the way home. I’ll never forget the kindness they showed me and plan on paying it forward some day.”

6) RobotSnack, a female, wrote, “A few years ago my younger sister tried to commit suicide and she was hospitalized against her will. At the time she was living in Philadelphia, PA, and I was living in Jacksonville, FL. My sister and I didn’t have a great relationship with my parents at the time, so my sister asked me to sign her out of the hospital and meet with her college’s dean to figure out what to do. I was 23 at the time and in my first semester of law school, so I already had a bit of stress on my plate.

“There was no one to pick me up at the airport, so I had to take the SEPTA [Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority] train from the airport. There wasn’t anywhere to buy a ticket outside, so I figured I could do it once I was on the train. It was pouring down rain and I was lugging a heavy suitcase, along with all the stress of law school, the situation with my sister, and a fight I had been having with my then-boyfriend.

“Once on the train I learned that they took only cash. I panicked because all I had was a debit card and I didn’t want to get kicked off the train. I tried to explain to the conductor what was going on, but she was suspicious because my mailing address didn’t match the address on my license. I was almost in tears when suddenly the man who was sitting behind me handed me the amount I needed for my ticket. That was the first wave of relief I had felt in days.

“I thanked him a hundred times. To this day I have never forgotten him.”

7) paulmcpizza wrote, “No one took my purse or anything inside it when I left it on my car before going into work for an 8-hour shift last Friday.

“I realized halfway through my shift my purse was hanging on my side mirror, and nearly threw up when I got out to my car that night and it hadn’t been touched. My coworker was floored.”

Source: molly9945, “What random act of kindness made you (almost) cry in public?” Askwomen. Reddit. 2 February 2016

http://tinyurl.com/hvjwn7k

Download Free eBooks, including The Kindest People series of collections of accounts of good deeds, by David Bruce here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/about-the-blogger/

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NadiaSK vs The Mountain (Hafthór Júlíus Björnsson – Game of Thrones)

NADIA SK

NadiaSK vs The Mountain (Hafthór Júlíus Björnsson – Game of Thrones)

Me and Hafthór Júlíus Björnsson had a challenge during the convention in Qatar where we were guests. Who will win?

https://youtu.be/0M0Z6lzUVDU

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Hank Williams Jr: “The American Dream”

Hank Jr GH

“Now there are some preachers on TV with a suit and a tie and a vest . . . They want you to send your money to the Lord but they give you their address.”

~Hank Williams Jr. lyric from “The American Dream”

Too many lawyers in football
Baseball’s gotta few
The pitcher got a million dollars
And the quarterback he got two
Pitcher threw his arm away
And the quarterback burned his knee

And this they did so they could live the American Dream
Now there are some preachers on tv with a suit and a tie and a vest
They want you to send your money to the lord but they give you their address
Cause all of your donations are completely tax free
God bless you all but most of all send your money

Do you really want it?
Do you really need it?
Ya gotta keep on grindin’ just ta try ta keep it
Ya got no time for yourself ya got more ba roe jim beam
Your goin’ crazy dreamin’
The American Dream

Reagan is a cuttin’ the budget makin’ the democrats scream
Says we gotta control inflation quit spendin’ our money on everything
But this years tax increase why its the biggest in history
Round and a round we go where we stop who knows

The American Dream
Do you really want it?
Do you really need it?

Ya gotta keep on grindin’ just ta try ta keep it
We got no time for ourselves ya got more ba roe jim beam
Your goin’ crazy dreamin’
The American Dream
Your goin’ crazy dreamin’
The American Dream
Hail to the chief
He he hell yeah
He he

Hank Williams, Jr.

Official Website.

http://www.hankjr.com

Download Resist Psychic Death: 250 Anecdotes and Stories, free, by David Bruce here:

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What’s the Smoothest Way You’ve Diffused an Awkward Situation?

Here are some answers:

1) Growlybeard wrote this:

“Ooh! I’ve got one.

“I’m having a beer at my local pub, and my friend Sara is running the bar that night by herself. It’s a little late, most [people] have gone home, and it’s Sara, myself, and this guy at the far end of the bar near the door, who is obviously on some kind of drugs.

“He keeps making these creepy/awkward comments to Sara, telling her she’s beautiful, and how he’d love to date her, etc.

“Finally, Sara has had enough and she asks him to leave. He refuses and starts to get loud, and she starts yelling at him to leave. She then threatens to call the police, and he gets up and starts walking down the bar, further into the pub, toward where the entrance to the area behind the bar is, and towards me.

“Sara is scared at this point.

“Without thinking, and not really knowing what I’m going to do, I get up and walk straight towards this guy. He’s about fifty pounds heavier and maybe a bit taller, and he’s belligerent and probably on some drugs. I’ve never fought anyone. So I did the one thing I’m good at. I made a friend.

“I walked straight up to him, put out my hand, put on a big smile, and asked him his name and if he smokes. He got this look of surprise, stuttered out a yes and his name. I suggested we go out and have a cigarette, and he agreed.

“We go outside, he gives me a cigarette. We smoke, and I just asked him a ton of questions. While we were talking I figured out which part of town he lived in, and started ambling in that direction. He sort of started following my movements, and eventually we started walking that way together.

“At some point I made up an excuse to leave and went back to check on Sara. The guy just kept walking on.

“She was super thankful and wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks.”

2) Bert33 wrote this:

“When I was in my mid-twenties, I did consulting work in Manhattan with a bunch of guys of similar ages. Every Thursday we would go out drinking with our bosses (who were probably early thirties) on the company tab. One time about twenty of us were in a crowded bar and these two guys next to us kept bumping into my boss hard. He ignored the first couple times and bummed a cigarette from me. They slammed into him again and he yelled at them; they started jawing back and forth, etc. I wasn’t really paying attention but saw my boss with the unlit cigarette in his mouth kind of staring down the guy. Without really thinking I leaned in to light the cigarette and it finally dawned on the strangers that there were twenty of us and two of them. Suddenly they became very apologetic.”

3) Mumbaibabi wrote this:

“Not me, but I watched someone else do this. I was a new nurse in a very busy ER [Emergency Room] in a very poor neighborhood. A squad car brings in a mother with a very sick child in her arms. She was drunk or high, can’t remember which, and would not hand over the child. He was limp, breathing but not responding and she was absolutely hysterical, ramping up each passing second. The cops, the nurses, and the doctors were pleading and yelling for her to let them take care of the child. A whole lotta screaming going on. It was getting so bad I thought they’d have to shoot her. The head nurse, who was in her office, heard the commotion, came out, and swiftly figured out what was going on. Went right over to the mom and very quietly gently said, ‘Let us take care of your baby, we know you’re a good mom, just think of the baby, he needs your help and ours.’ She just kept talking softly and respectfully to this mom, who let her scoop him out of her arms and bring him back for treatment. I never saw anything like it. Learned a whole lot in those few minutes.”

4) funkyG wrote this:

“I went to support my now husband during a bitter custody battle with his ex-wife a few years ago. Afterwards we leave the courtroom to go the lobby downstairs. Just as the elevator door is about to close someone says, ‘Hold the door!’ and his ex jumps in. Just the three of us, we were all shocked, and then the door closed.

“‘Girl from Ipanema’ was playing and I started spouting facts about the song that I knew. They were both quiet but trying to match my eye contact, and I just kept chatting with myself. I told her to take care when she left and I saw her shoulders slump as she tried to walk away.

“Now she asks that I be present for their discussions as I ease tension. My dorkiness has saved us thousands in legal fees.”

5) Darren Edwards wrote this:

“I briefly met the smoothest man on the f[**]king planet.

“I was at a club. At a club there is always a couple practically f[**]king on the dance floor. These two […] became an obstacle for everyone else and occasionally someone knocked into them. I was the guy who accidentally knocked into the girl. Guy became enraged and wants to act alpha. The guy wanted to make it look like he wants a fight. I squared off waiting for him to start. He doesn’t start; I stand my ground. The dance floor has somehow found room for us to engage and everything went silent. I wasn’t going to back down or escalate, I know how most drunken club fights go.

“From out of nowhere a guy leapt between us. He did a complete back flip and the situation was completely diffused. I lost track of the other guy immediately and the music started up again. Within seconds the back flip guy got the party going again.”

Source: Dblethal, “What’s the smoothest way you’ve diffused an awkward situation?” Reddit. 31 January 2016

http://tinyurl.com/z6bqbtg

Download Free eBooks, including The Kindest People series of collections of accounts of good deeds, by David Bruce here:

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/about-the-blogger/

Download Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy (Some Free)

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/smoothie2003

Check out the rest of 

https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com/

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