I See a Lot of Posts [in AskWomen] About Bad/Creepy Interactions with Guys. What are Your Positive/Good Interactions with Them?

1) Snowdrift 430 wrote this:

“The vast majority of my interactions with men are good or great or just normal and unremarkable. My SO [Significant Other], my best friend, my regular friends, my dad, my colleagues, people I interact with… almost always good or just normal. 

“However, in the spirit of the question (an opposite to creepy interactions with strangers) — some years ago I was on a work trip to a small rural city. One night at about 11 p.m., I got back to my hotel after grabbing food, and walked into the elevator by the lobby. As I entered the hotel, I could hear two large men talking loudly behind me. 

“There was nobody else around in the lobby at all; the night desk staff must have been off somewhere; the place was really empty. So I took a quick look over my shoulder just to keep an eye on the men. You know, just keeping alert of my surroundings.

“The two men walked up to the open elevator door, carrying a case of beer; one older, pretty grizzled-lookin’ man with a long grey beard, and a younger one who might have been his grandson. 

“And the older man stopped, and stopped the younger man from stepping forward. ‘Excuse me, miss,’ the older man said. ‘Is it okay if we ride this elevator with you?’ I was so surprised, but stammered out a ‘Yes, of course,’ and he ducked his head politely and said, ‘Thank you very much.’

“It was just such a gentlemanly and kind thing, it melted my heart. He certainly didn’t have to ask my permission. But clearly, somewhere down the line he had learned that it can be anxious for a woman to be in an isolated space with unknown men, and that it’s compassionate to make that tiny bit of effort to put her at ease. 

“I was just so impressed by that thoughtfulness and good manners, and especially that he was modeling it for the younger man with him.”

2) josephineblack wrote, “I have never (knock on wood) dated a guy who didn’t respect my physical boundaries. They have all been respectful and although it should be a given, I know many times it’s not and so I appreciate it.”

3) Josetta wrote this:

“I just got home and I’m a little tipsy so I’m going to tell a bunch of stories — sorry in advance! 

“a) I got a flat tire one time and was trying to change it myself (having never done so before) and was really struggling — I couldn’t get the bolts (nuts? What are they called?) to even loosen much less come off. I was getting really frustrated with myself for failing to do such a simple task when a man who had seen me from down the block came jogging up and asked if he could help me. He was incredibly helpful and really saved the day for me; he had my spare tire up and going in no time flat. 

“b) A few months ago I was picking up a quick dinner for myself at Subway on the way home, when their whole system shorted out. I didn’t have any cash on me (since pretty much my entire life is debit now) and was apologizing to the cashier for having to leave without paying for the sandwich they had just prepared, when the guy behind me in line interrupted and bought my meal for me. It was totally unexpected and so sweet of him! I offered to pay him back and he laughed and said not to worry about it. 

“c) Back before I had Lasik surgery, I wore glasses for a few months instead of the contacts I’d been wearing for years. I was at the beach and stupidly went into the water wearing them without thinking — a wave came up and washed them right off my face. Within seconds one of my guy friends was diving under the water to snatch them before they were lost forever, and miraculously managed to get them after a few dives! It was amazing and I was soooo grateful — he was a rockstar that day. 

“d) My brothers are the greatest guys — they are so smart and kind and funny, and I am extremely proud of them. I didn’t always have the smoothest relationship with them each individually, but they would do anything for me if I needed it and I would do the same for them. 

“e) All of my guy friends — I’ve gone travelling with some, lived with some, gone to concerts and shows, worked on personal projects with some, supported each other through really tough circumstances, celebrated achievements and milestones, and they’ve always been great people whom I’ve been lucky to call friends. 

“This sub [the subReddit AskWomen] gets a lot of questions that elicit retelling of negative experiences, and I’ve had my share, but the vast, vast majority of the men in my life are wonderful people.”

She added later, “It’s now the next morning and no one has acknowledged “he had my spare tire up and going in no time flat.” WHATEVER, YOU GUYS. I thought that was hilarious last night.” (A few readers then admitted that they had laughed when they read it.)

4) Sterntalerfabric wrote this:

“When I was about 20 and still at university, I made my big dream come true and visited London for a couple of days with my best friend. We had sightseeing galore, did all the cheesy tourist stuff. That included regular visits to pubs, of course. 

“One night, we were exhausted from running around this awesome city, and we went to this pub in Covent Garden to have a pint and recap the day. At one point, the waiter came over and put two fresh pints of Guinness on our table and told us they were from the group of three men two tables over. We felt a little awkward (this was a girls’ vacation, and those guys were all at least 15 to 20 years older than us), but we thanked them and they asked us if they could come over and sit with us. 

“We reluctantly agreed, because we were young and foreign and didn’t want to appear rude. We talked to them for a couple of hours. They were all Londoners, born and raised, and they were genuinely interested in our experiences on our trip and how we perceived the city and its residents. At no point did any of them make a move on one of us. No flirting, no suggestive comments. They just kept buying rounds and talked to us. 

“After a couple of hours, they all got up, excused themselves because they had to work in the morning (it was a weeknight), thanked us for the pleasant conversation, wished us fun for the remainder of our vacation and left. 

“Even now, almost 13 years later, this is still one of the most positive interactions I ever had with men. Three English guys without an agenda buying beer and being polite to two young girls.”

5) significantotter1 wrote this:

Most of my interactions with men are positive, but my husband really stood out to me when we went on our first date. We really hit it off and I was clearly giving the ‘kiss me’ signals. He said, ‘I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?’ It was really sweet to me that he asked and didn’t want to push my boundaries. I felt super respected, and then we made out for ages.”

Snowdrift430 made this comment:

“Oh, yeah, that’s totally sweet and awesome.”

“Reminds me… The night my now-SO and I hooked up, I was the one who invited him over, and I told him to kiss me. We made out awhile until I was ready to kick it up a notch, so I asked, ‘So, do you want to spend the night?’ He quickly agreed, so I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. 

“Halfway there he paused and goes, in these exact words and a very worried tone of voice: ‘Just to be clear, I would not be offended if this was not an option.’ 

“It was both incredibly sweet and adorably awkward, and kinda melted my heart. Four years later I still tease him about it, and he’s like ‘Look, I just wanted to make sure you freely consented and didn’t feel pressured.’

“And I’m always like, ‘Dude, it was ME who asked YOU in the first place.’”

6) sharkthelittlefish sa sharkthelittlefish wrote this:sharkthelittlefish sa

“I’ve had a couple that stand out:

“A couple of months ago, I was walking down the road early (around 6:30am) on my way to the gym, when I guy came up to me and gave me a flower then walked away. No words said. Just a really beautiful moment. 

“A couple of years ago, I was walking down the road to go to work, and this guy ran across the street and came to a sudden halt in front of me. He said, ‘I’m really, really sorry to stop you, but I think you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen!’ Then he ran off again.”

7) isntthisneat wrote this:

“When I was 17, I went into NYC with some friends for a birthday party. We had one friend’s family member’s apartment to ourselves to party in. I got extremely drunk and decided to follow someone who was going to go get cigarettes. Halfway through this excursion, I decided I wanted to go back to the apartment. I swore I knew my way back and went off on my own.

“I did not know my way back.

“So there I was, drunk, stumbling, and crying on the streets of NYC at 1:00AM. Asked a couple of girls if they knew where [address] was; they didn’t know. A man in his thirties overhears me and says he can buy me a cab ride back to my friend’s place. I get into a cab with him with zero questions asked. 17 years old, extremely drunk, very easy to be taken advantage of.

“Nothing bad happened at all. He never tried to touch me, never said anything creepy to me, just bought me a cab back and when no one was answering when I was trying to buzz into the apartment building, he offered to stay with me until my friends answered/got back if they weren’t in. He was very kind and supportive. I was a crying mess, thinking my friends had forgotten me.

“I declined his offers to stay with me, and eventually the whole party came up the street, as they had all gone out to look for me.

“It definitely could have gone in a much different direction than it did that night, but I will always be grateful to his kindness. 

“TL;DR: Got into a cab with a man I did not know in the wee hours of the morning when I was a drunk and lost teenager on the streets of New York. Could have gone badly, but he was just a stand-up dude who wanted to help.”

Source: OoohhhCanDo, “I see a lot of posts about bad/creepy interactions with guys. What are your positive/good interactions with them?” Reddit. AskWomen. 27 May 2017


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